my mother held a pen
so hard it exploded

I am so much more
than I wanted
to be

how much of what we promise
is based in fact

I have never been around you
during lunchtime

you are right-handed
and I am tired

of being against the days
the planet rolling around and around

I wonder how more people don't die
Claire lives in Los Angeles and doesn't drive

she gets mad
tells me to eat breakfast

people are always trying
to pull me into their skin

like a solution
like a cell

they talk about the air
between air

they talk about atoms
never really touching

my body has spent
most of its life asleep

next to you
it is possible to know

how the sky looked
the day I was born

 

 

I walk over I-5 and it feels good
everyone at once

moving through
that skeleton

it feels good
to know I could die

any time
with everybody

knowing
just what to do

I heard we move here
because we've hurt too much

we move here to be cradled
in the right shape of arms

it's taken me 26 years to notice
spring and when men come

with leaf blowers to clear
fallen blooms I scream

are you happy
to take them with you

bruised brown
and not yet dead

 

the ocean
is far
so I pin
up the walls
try to imagine
water
is possible
how I am
still
under
the sun
how hot
a light
bulb
to the cheek
Plath’s
death thoughts
and Maggie
not writing
poems cause
they’re math now
my jaws
locked
from sucking
voice out
my lovers
alone
I may become
nothing
a while
o suckled voice
o salt from skin
o Beautiful
Umbrella
of American
Boys
o throat
o blood
o Judas
o jumpsuit
o passport
o birthday
o THEATER
of distraction
I have eaten
your fruits
fallen
all