we are crying
in the old car home
like an ocean bed
in the open air
we take a trip
toward a signal
from a great space
there are so many
I am indifferent
as a gift
I hold the mirror
as a comfort
to the one after
the weird fruit
blooming in winter
the us that gave
the us that
easy
that decade
ronald reagan
cooled his jets
the airwaves
bore me like
philosophy
on a houseboat
in california
the brown trail
in the backyard
made an infinity
of the loneliness
you abandon in age
& then find again
in age
my pet walked
alongside me
in little pants
what humiliated me
spread itself
into sex
now
I'm ambivalent
for what's not vehicle
on the radio
there is no you
really
my hair
gets longer
by the photograph
we write books
about america
our whole lives
our hearts
are temperatures
my breasts
go on
ahead of me
my whole life
promising
a big return
& several roads
if I am a gun
& you are a gun
what do you mean
when you say protector
put a trampoline
in your yard
yard browns
under
the trampoline
its instrument
if I am a gun
& you are a radio
what are we doing
moving in together
all day long
I am having ideas
they are tiny sandwiches
I give to the sky
when we are ready
our empty stomachs
will reach for it
simultaneously
we will sleep
like parking lots
in the san fernando valley
lonely & placid
technically
the same
what do I know
enough to keep
repeating
very little
beyond self
or what sucks
I can comply
with humanity
I can wake up
& watch out
this new window
like a shoulder
I can maintain
a physical address
for my trauma
beginning this morning
I want to be giving
my long pink body
to a big idea
like a vote
I want to be slanting
one way or another
& waterproof
everyone's lives
are so boring
in their devastation
like a brown field
with beautiful
ordinary cattle
the planets
are meaningless
the coral reefs
don't need me
like you did
we are as lonely
as we are beautiful
hands in each other's
growing hair
Kelly Schirmann is a poet, musician, & visual artist from California. Her poems have appeared in Spork, Mud Luscious, Titular, Metazen, Illuminati Girl Gang, & elsewhere. She writes & records music as HEADBAND, & sings in the band Young Family (with Sam Pink). She currently lives in Portland, Oregon. You can check out her musical collaborations, hand-lettered broadsides, & poems about water at mythixtape.tumblr.com.