I find the victims in the valley I hunt the wilderness in myself I stalk my prey
through myself let hornets hive my womb I am born fragrant stars and
make planets of my body I noble the old people I make victim the valley I
make mountains kneel in myself I eat a crown of lead make him an air I
unearth the noble
victim I make valleys of
young women I cleave
white the wilderness take
violence into ourself I
victim the gods in the
valley the victim she is
myself victim in the valley
it is my own sun I stalk
my victim in the valley it
is my sun people I hunt
my hunted the wilderness
in myself I open my
illness to the kingdom I
am cleaved by the old
and new world I entomb
elders in the valley and
grow mild flowers of their
teeth I birth a betrayed
nation I fill with hunted
the wilderness is myself
my illness led us to this
see my braid the poisoned river and the lost tongues I walk as night I carry the child
of the noble cause I make my victim my nation in the valley I hunt the wilderness in
myself I am she who betrays blood for a little bit of kingdom
PATIENT STATES: honeysuckle wraps its heated bruise of bad news— a daughter bound by trouble is a wilder grief manifested bodily oilthick stars pour down their vines to overwhelm the house stormwater sags the walls as the ghost spine blossoms berries of rot in her daughter's daughter's brains the girl doublebled shares a heart with the pines pulls the vein from the blade antlered illness made creature punished into deformity suspended mid-run an animal body's instinct is to survive pain and flee its hunter the girl attached to the thrashing creature is calm, nearly smiling another another another of us in a hospital room
GULF PINES PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL PATIENT INTAKE PHOTO, 1996.
no distance I horizon might bewilder that
loneliness persisting its constant hunt—
an old companion, it silvers its way into our still
when the house is paused and
each object seems to tilt in mid-plummet,
each red egg a hatching star in my hair,
each surface of my life a border and singularity:
the migrant heart sliced into petals by guitar string—
born on a cusp, my first cry erupts
a strand of throated river rope
that hangs the crossing in a tissue of fog;
in that valley, babies lift to midheaven in sleep, hang
above the deepening cleft, fractaling:
a concurrent unweaving as I weave,
the text an unraveling ghost-skirt
ever-repeating its leaving and leaving and leaving;
[singularity: misterio doloroso]
in age, after fate will have made an opus
of every brutal abandoning
I will succumb to the hunter in the profound:
a gallant leap into a copse of pines, the beast
born split, each arrow pierces two beings:
in wound, the animal turns constellation;
the feminine, obscene.
Vanessa Angelica Villarreal was born on the Rio Grande in McAllen, Texas. Her work has appeared in Waxwing, Caketrain, DIAGRAM, The Western Humanities Review, DREGINALD, The Poetry Foundation Harriet blog, The Feminist Wire, and elsewhere. She is a CantoMundo Fellow, and her book, Beast Meridian, was a finalist at Nightboat, Futurepoem, Saturnalia, and Willow Books, and is forthcoming from Noemi Press in 2017. She came up in Houston, Texas.